Will he respect me more if I don't go home with him (even if we only make

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I set my limit and he respected it. Questions like these will possibly haunt a heartbroken partner's mind.

Teasing and playing around are great. I wish you wrote an article about feminism, business women in … Read more ». That will give him the kick in the butt he needs to resume the chase again.

If I sleep with him, will he loose respect for me?

Welcome to episode 30 of The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast. Luckily that is changing this week as I am getting back into the swing of things. The entire graphic revolves around the premise that you need to study a mans actions. Jasmin was wondering whether or not she ruined her chances with her ex and at this point it is too early to say for sure. So, in order to figure out where she stands its vital for her to study her exes actions. So, lets assume that Jasmin sits there, takes a step back and really does an amazing job of dissecting her exes actions. She determines that his actions fall under the good category. Well, going forward that means that Jasmin needs to focus her game plan around making her ex boyfriend commit to her. If Jasmin looks at her exes actions and determines that he is losing interest in her then she needs to figure out a way to re-assert her value. Podcast Transcript Welcome to Episode 30 of the. I absolutely despise tax season. Every single time I have to pay taxes, it sucks. I can understand what the American Revolution was started for way back when. I think that it might go live by the end of this week. There are some exciting things that are about to happen for the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery brand. Make sure you tune in and keep visiting the website continually. As always, thank you for your support. Episode 30 revolves around what to do if you sleep with your ex-boyfriend. I have been following your program. After three months of not seeing my ex-boyfriend, I recently followed your plan through and initiated a text message, which led to phone calls. Everything was going quite well. He was responding very positively. We met up two days ago and he was very affectionate and sweet. The problem is, it went a little bit too well. With the consumption of alcohol, which I know is a bad idea, one thing led to another. We ended up sleeping together. Have I blown my chances completely because I slept with him way too soon. Have I lost all value in his eyes now. First, I want to thank you for purchasing the program. To me, it seems like you were doing incredibly well. You started with the no contact rule. After that, you sent some text messages. You used the text messages to lead to phone calls. You used the phone calls to lead to a date. You made your first major mistake. That was sleeping with your ex-boyfriend. I need to know more about your situation to really understand that. But I think I can give you a lot of information to help you decipher as time goes on. About once a day, I get something about sleeping with your ex-boyfriend. Jasmine, you happened to be the lucky person for this. I have talked about this issue in a podcast before. The first thing that I do not want you to become, Jasmine, is friends with benefits with your ex. There is no pressure to get married. We do not want to become friends with benefits with our exes. The show notes for every episode of the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Podcast is divided up into certain sections. Then I talk about the important parts of the episode. Then there is another section under that. I think this is going to be a very big benefit for you so that you can understand not only why you need to avoid being friends with benefits with your ex but what to do if you get into a situation like that. You can find the show notes to this episode at. The thing I want you to understand is that sleeping with your ex-boyfriend is actually quite comment. I did some research before I recorded this episode. I found multiple different sources and articles stating that, out of all breakups, 82. That means 8 out of 10 people remain in contact with their exes after a breakup. About 22% end up having sex with their ex-boyfriend. There are a lot of different reasons why women and men do this. This is what this whole show is about. This is what the entire podcast is about. As a woman, the greatest power that she can have over a man is sex. A woman decides in a relationship when the two people in the relationship are going to have sex. One night, he turns to you and gives you the look. That is the greatest power that a woman has over a man, technically. What I think happens for most women is, subconsciously, they understand this. They understand that they have this power and that they are in control. They think that, by giving themselves to their exes that they are going to convince their exes to come back to them. He can get you anytime he wants. The credo that I continually say on this podcast over and over again is the fact that men want what they cannot have. There is a 50% chance that you have lost value. There is a 50% chance that you did what you need to do to get him back. Sometimes sleeping with your ex does work. This does go against what I teach. I will admit that sleeping with your ex does not work as much as not sleeping with your will he respect me if i sleep with him until he commits to you, which is what I recommend profusely. Men are very sexually oriented. Sometimes it is enough to get him to commit to you in a relationship. That always has a higher success rate than sleeping with your ex. There is a 50% chance you may have lost value. There is a 50% chance that you did not. I think the best way you can determine this is to look at his actions. He can give you a call and try to set up another date. On that date, he could try to commit to you. The way you make me feel is absolutely incredible. I want you to be my girlfriend again. If you look at his actions in that situation, he called you up. He has taken charge to set up the date. He has asked you to be his girlfriend again. Each one of these actions has been positive and a step towards him trying to get back with you. Actions speak louder than words. Maybe he says these words but his actions said something completely different. Now you understand the actions and words thing. Understanding actions is essential to the game plan. You did a phenomenal job of getting to this point. From the breakup where you started to where you are now is night and day. Congratulations on getting to this point, because it is an accomplishment. I want you to understand that. If I could, I would be a millionaire. Step one to your game plan, Jasmine, is not to sleep with him again. Do not sleep with him again until he commits to you. This is until he says it out loud and makes it public to the world that he is your boyfriend and you are in a relationship together. Do not sleep with him until then. Do not drink or do anything that may impair your judgment and make you sleep with him again. Here is where things get interesting. I want you to firmly study his actions. Take his words out of the equation completely. Words mean nothing in this game. Actions are the only thing that matters. You are still a highly valuable creature. If he says a lot of words and his actions do not back it up or if he takes no action at all to try to get you to commit to him, then I would say you have lost value in his eyes. If you study his actions, you might have the good side of him doing actions to try to get you to commit. Then you have a bad side of him not doing actions to try to get you to commit. Based on these two tangents, there are two different ways that you can play this. Show him the time of his life. In this case, you need to reassert your value. That means going back into the no contact rule and maybe starting the process over again a little bit. I think a no contact rule cut in half would be good here. You need to do things to reassert your value. I have plenty of articles describing how to do that. The best way to do that is to go through my ebook again and pick out the parts that are applicable. You want to become the un-gettable girl. I thought it was a brilliantly written article, if I say so myself. You need to find a way to reassert your value in that case. I hope I helped you out, Jasmine. I hope I helped out all the listeners of this episode who may have slept with their ex-boyfriend and think they made a mistake. He got into it with his dad and was kicked out. We argued and he broke up with me before my birthday and he pulled away so hard I just knew it was another woman. It makes me sick to think about him with someone else. He was just showing me my wedding ring he would like to get me a month before. Recently I convinced him to have sex with me because I was lonely. I have been nothing but a good person to him. I feel so down on myself feeling like a failure after investing so much of my time and sacrificing so much to lift him up to leave me like this for someone else. Hi, My ex and I almost had sex. I was good about no contact but I texted him because he owes me money. He paid me a partial amount and I told him to update me when I could get the rest. However 2 days later, he gave me a ride home and it got emotional for him he started crying and I put up my defenses and came out as snarky. My ex and I have been seeing each other for a while since October last year. He came back after about two years and wanted to work things out with me but on all these occasions, we had sex in it was beautiful. I told him I moved on, I wanted him to chase after me. However the communication is poor. I want him to invest in me, in seeing me back. But it seems I lost value by giving onto sex. In December he did tell me that he loves me. His actions are opposite though as he never calls or texts or checks on me. It is very discouraging but I want to try, but for how long. My ex and I broke up some time ago, but constantly saw each other since we had the same friends. I recently saw him about two weeks ago at a friends birthday party. We both got drunk and ended up sleeping together, then spending the next day together, acting like a couple, and acting like we did before we broke up. The next day, he called me and was being very sweet and asked me out and said we would see each other soon. I was the one who actually intitated him coming over to my place for sex. He came over, we had sex, and then he left. Should I start no contact all over again. Did I lose all value in his eyes. How can I win him back again and get back on track. I think you should do a 45 day one, and then just really treat it as a restart. Be more active in other things. We had great month together even if he is 23 and me 32. We had great connection, we were speaking for many h, we were compatible, had great sex and we were ready for it all of the time. I wanted will he respect me if i sleep with him to feel safe with me. He was also telling me that he feels like we are meant to be, but that time is not good for us… I told him that if we are meant to be than time will be always good. During day he was just playing video games and texted me. One night I went out with my friends and he stayed home even if his friends were out having fun. I came we talked, had sex and I stayed at his house over night. In the morning he made me coffee, we talked, played together games, and than I went. In that time his friends from other towns called him to check him and I figured out that they all know about me, same as his sister and mom. Before that we even set in his friends house once, my friend, his friend, me and him. Anyhow, 3 days after I sleeptover at his place before he was staying at mine as I live alone and he have a roommate I asked him will we see each other and he said that he feels mentaly bad and he would rather stay home and play games and we will see each other some other day. I said ok and told him that I will probably go to my birthplace for the weeked. He told me that he is not into mood for anything and that he thinks that I need to understand that. And I did which I said to him. Than we texted how he feels I was telling him that he needs to go out, chill with friend, do something fun. Tomorrow he came to my place and he was under depression still, he felt asleep, but after he woke up we had sex two times, talked, made jokes till morning when I had to go to work and he followed me and than went home. But it was late that night and I wanted him to do whatever will make him feel better. I said to him ok and wished them to have nice shopping. Tomorrow he called and we meet. He came kissed me on my lips, took my hands and we went at some cafe. He said we did, but he is not ready. We agreed to take 17 days of brake so we could both think. We went out took a walk together, holding hands, I was telling him I will go out that night, and at the good by we were confused should we kiss or just hug or… That night we sow eacother in the club but as I was passing I just smiled to him and said hi from distance. A guy flerted with me and my friend was stending next to me and told me that he came to pickup a girl behind my back, but as he and his friend left the club before us we all have seen that they went out alone. I only contaced him once, 3 days after, as his friend sent text on my phone calling him to hang out. He said that we will see each other that day. We met one more time after that just said hi to each other and that was it. Each time boys were coming to me, trying to dance or kiss me asking me for number and all. I look good and boys are around me. He said that it stands and we will see about wine as he have training in the morning and that he will call me when he gets back from it that night to make details. He said that we have a deal, and I wished him to have great night. I went out with my friend, and we went into the club and had table with the security at the entrance. I had great time but maybe more than two cocktail and shooters. After an h he came with his friends. He came kissed me on chick said hi and went down somewhere. I obviosly passed next to his table when i was going to the rest room and havent seen him. When I was going out of it I sow him standing in front. I asked is he coming in he said no he is waiting for me. I asked whats up and he said that we can maybe speak now as he is tired from work, trainings and all. I said that we had an agreement and that I am buzzed now and that club is not the place for conversations. He asked to go out or if i want we can do it tomorrow. I told him if he thinks that Im out cause of him he is wrong, and this is place where Im going out, where I feel like home and that he can ask people who should leave it if thats the case. He said he never tough that and that he doesnt knows whats into me. I said u are getting in my space in time that is not for conversations and you are breaking a deal, so thats into me. But as my friends brother came in that club I was forced to stay behind my ex. His best friend wanted to hook up my friend and he stand there with us so my ex came to stay with us too. My straw falled he went to bring me another, he watched for my bag when I went to rest room again… Than we all went out. His friend asked us to go to his place, I said no so my friend left with him and my ex and I stayed there alone. He wanted to make a bad joke I told him that Im so mad that I could punch him. He started walking with me, but I was buzzed and he was still trying to speak with me. And at some point I told him that I dont want stend there with him and turned around and went alone. Tomorrow afternoon I texted him that last night things happend- it was not place and time that we could say hi, stand there together have a drink but without serious talks. I said ok, that Ill be free after 6pm and to give me a call when he wakes up. We set next to eachother and I asked him what happened last night with us. He said he dont know, he did made a mistake coming after me, he did realised that but I mad him angry when I said that thing to him after, when he was speaking to that girl. I told him that I was buzzed and I felt like he is destroying my fun on purpose coming there after me so I want to show him how it is when someone do that to him. He said that he didnt came to me when I was standing with security, its not the same. I said for me it was, its the club. He started saying me that he was not flerting with that girl but with other he did cause of me. He even told her infront of me that he wants to meet here tomorrow without attention to text her as he knew that he will meet me. He told me that he knows he is not ready for relationship that all he need is to go out and have fun, its not about me he think that same would be with that other girl he liked. He said he have with me all he needs, lover, friend, someone to talk with, who supports him. I told him that all is ok, I had time to think too and realised that no matter how great we were in that short time I want him to go and search for what he needs. That all I want is for him to be happy. That I know that I need somebody who is 100% sure that he wants to be with me who is not afraid of relationship who will look on it like on some bonus in life he is having. That I would be bonus with who he can have fun with, wild sex, long talks, respect, drunk nights, wild memories. And if we are meant to be time for us will always be right, but now I want him to be happy alone as he wants to be and maybe Ill be here if he finds out one day that I can be his happines. I told him that I want him the best not to make him sad. And if we are ment to be than we are ment to be. We opened a bottle of wine and continued to talk. He mentioned that one will he respect me if i sleep with him, before he broke up with me told him bad things about me, not saying me what. I am not inlove in him, to be inlove we need time, we were getting to know echother and we enjoyed in that. That during that month everything was smooth but we should tell each other what bothers us and to go slow. And its ok if he trust to that girl, who betrayed him telling me his age while she was telling him that she cover his back for him. He said that she is not his friend that he was saying those things to his roommate, roommate to him and that it had a bit of influance on him. But he thinks he knows me best, and trust me more. When he was looking mine pictures he was saying which one he likes the most and that my smile on those is the most preciouse. And my eyes… Also we were not fb friends but he forced his friend to add me so he could see my fb. We set there from 8pm till 1am. Than we went out in that club, just two of us. I told him that some will he respect me if i sleep with him people who were saying that he is a kid and not for me wanted to be with me. And than we sow that guy, who shaked hand with my ex and just kissed me on my chick. On his face we could see anger. My ex was like what was that about he have a gf but got angry seeing us together. Ok he envys me as I have what he cant. Its clear that u are a price for them all but I am here with you. Than we danced, talked, sang, drunk beer and had lot of fun. He took care of me, spent lest money to pay drinks. At the end he was next to me huging and kissing my nose and forhead. He said how will he respect me if i sleep with him night is great and asked me do I know that he wants to be with me now and I said yes. He told me again that he is not ready for relationship but he cant be there with me without asking me to go and spend night together. We actually broke up back than but I think that he was feeling like we were still together and I am sure that he was only mine till that night. I told him that Im not sure how smart is that. He said he wont be mad if i dont want to, he wants me but… And we left back home. We had sex 2 times in the row after first time he cum but his erection lasted 30 min after cum, and it happened to him first time so he was teasing me that I pure him something in drinkthan fell asleep and he cuddled me, if our faces were not next to each other than he was hugging me holding my hands. Than we woke up had sex, fall asleep and woke up again set, chat a bit, had sex, showered and got dressed. I told him not to text me and he said yes its not a relationship i showed you i dont know how to be in one. We were holding hands till the crossroad and than we had a long kiss for good bye. Jar was part of his b-day gift anI told him not to forget to remind me to give it to him that night. He had a toothbrush at my place, but that I gave him on the day of brake up when we were in that cafe talking. I like our talks, I like sex… but I want him as my bf not as a friend or friend with benefits. Is there a way that we can be together again and how. Do you think he cares about me. Think you do have a point that he was avoiding all activities that could lead him to cheat me. I was already there when he came. I was there with a female friend and a guy friend. He came immediately and started talking with me it was like he was giving me the report about his activities for 2 weeks. Trough the crowd I could see that all his friends were after girls and he just stood there like he is not having fun. He looked that sad, that I felt sorry for him. After while he went home, all alone, while all his friends stayed till the end. He told me while passing next to me that he is going home as he is tired and kissed my cheek. Huh, I hope I acted well for not staying there with him longer than 10 min as that would lead maybe to something more, as I felt he liked me standing there with him. Like I was sad that he is not having fun, he looked miserable from that distance. Should I keep going like this. He always turns off his Viber while he is sleeping till that night he was off it was couple days in the row, but that night after he got home he turned it on and hold it like that for the whole night. He was just playing games and texting me. That night after the argue when we went into club all alone he did treat me nice like I go out of the restroom my hands were wet and he drained them with his hands, looked at me all the time in the eyes and watched how I move and when we decided to go back home together he acted for the first time like mine home is his, he even put sheets on bad for me, played his favorite songs…and after sex, during the night he was or hugging me or he was putting his lips to touch mine. Do you want to try a full no contact period. I think you need a 45 day one, and just focus in healing and improving yourself before rebuilding rapport with him. You have to assess your standards too. I confess — I made this mistake about a couple of weeks ago. Hi, me and my ex broke up about 9 months ago. I did do the no contact and began talking to him, everything seemed to go well. We ended sleping with each other a couple of times during these months. I want to ask him if he is willing to give our relationship another try but I am scared of him saying no. He is not dating anyone at the moment. We usually hang out like go eat and watch movies like a couple and not to mention the sex. It is so much better than it was when we were in a relationship. Hi, Exclusively dated for 6months and broke up bc he was not making enough time for me with his work schedule as an entrepreneur and sports coach. He immediately responded and was so happy to hear from me and we talked and he said his heart is for me and other nice things. He started calling and invited me to see one of the games he was coaching. He kept asking when we would see each other. Should I assume he only wanted sex or could something else be at play and how do I find out without coming across needy. Hi, I slept with my ex 6 days ago, it felt great, we had both missed it. We dated 6 months…We separated mid November. I did 25 days no contact in which time he texted me twice and so I decided to text back after second message. He would respond positively to my texts but I initiated the writing mostly. I did another week no contact, he texted merry Christmas. We started texting again and as we were both in vacation, I said I needed his help with my laptop and he said I could come over whenever, which showed me he had no one new in his life. We talked when I got there about life, work, his divorce proceedings he was separated for two years when we met. I texted the next morning, he replied and then wished him a happy new year with sexy photos of me as he gave me a gift card a for lingerie as Christmas present as I sent him a card a bit naughty lol a week before. He replied to will he respect me if i sleep with him with something flirty but also a more serious message wishing me health and patience. The second part about patience through me off. You have to understand he is undergoing bad divorce, is all confused and separated from us to protect me from the situation, himself, his kids. He is convinced he is a bad guy when he is so good but thinks I deserve better. His cheating ex really messed him up. Him wishing me patience is like him asking me to wait for him for things to be better on his side. I texted him a hello yesterday, he saw the message but has not replied. But I also see he has not reconnecred on whatsapp since. It is like he is thinking…Analysing. Maybe seeing me, sleeping with me was a lot for him. We did have a great time for three hours talking, laughing… I want to text him Friday to wish him a merry Armenian Christmas and if he does not reply to that start no contact again. We should be together, we are great together. He even said it himself Wednesday, we were happy together. Continue texting even if no reply. Do not contact for several weeks to give him space. Give him time for his divorce to wrap up. I am confused and getting advice from too many people and places will he respect me if i sleep with him me. I know I am not with him but I really feel we have not lived a tenth of our story. We were great until his ex decided to harden divorce proceedings. I know he adores me, maybe even more, but like he said, he feels his heart is closed. Maybe I should tell him I am in love…As you see I am lost, and more now that I slept with him once, but determined not to do it again. I have a son with my ex and we have been broken up for 6 weeks. I begged him at first to try to fix this for our son but not in an annoying way and then did the no contact rule. Ive lost 32lbs and have gotten into amazing shape. My ex and I just met at a music festival over the past weekend and spent an incredible weekend together. On sunday he even introduced me as his gf to someone we met at the festival. Sunday when I got home he came over with my son and stayed the night. We have had sex every night and morning since friday… today is monday. Did sleeping with him ruin my chances. I kissed him goodbye this morning after we you know… but it felt like I was the only one who wanted the kiss… i later sent him a text saying that I understand his reluctance in coming back. That I know he doesnt want to be with the girl he left but that Im not that girl. That time away has made me realize who I am and that I am the girl he fell in love with and so much more. That I know happiness is within me… i told him that I want him in my life but am going to give him the space he needs to figure out if he wants me in his. We have a son together… he left because I was so unhappy with myself but since uve lost weight and everything its like im back… its like I woke up. Is it too late to get him back for good. Hi Jo, You started out so great Jo. Just keep improving while letting him be. Hello Chris, i am in a kind of friends with benefits situation with my ex boyfriend…we broke up last summer, then we did not see each other for about 6 month,,he reached out to me during that time and we got to see each other again in december 2015. He came over to me to have dinner…unfortunatly we ended up sleeping with each other…ever since then we spend time with together about 1-3 times a month, sometimes just doing some activity like going to the cinema, restaurant and of course we had also sex…its very passionate between the two of us and i know he still likes and cares for me…when ever I need himhe is there. I want him to commit to me again, what should I do. Tell him that i friend zone him and no contact and then start meeting him again. Hi Amor, i also want to know wether i should go on the nc…. Hi Amor, i just wonder how do i show im that i go on Dates with other men. Hi my bf brokeup with me suddenly after five yrs. I started the no contact rule lasted a week then we bumped into eachother at a bar we normally go to and hooked up that night. Hi, So I did not really know what page to ask this on. But I have been on a few dates with my ex, we didnt sleep together, but made out hardcore, and he calls me pet names. Yesterday he send me a nude, and half the time seems to be really into sexting. Hi, We broke up like 4 months ago, I did no contact and everything. He has asked me out a few times, and we have been out around 4 times; we made out on one of the dates. This same time he told me he missed me, and that we should go camping together, and that he wants to cook me dinner. I kinda think that it probably needs more time for him to ask me to be his gf opinions. But in the mean time, the real question that I have is; did I let it go to far. Should we just stick to kissing. Hi, I was in a relationship with my ex for about over a year then he broke up with me. Then I begged and I pleaded with him to stay. He got annoyed then blocked me for a day on whatsapp, and then unblocked me the next day. A couple weeks ago, he messages me and asks to meet up again. He wanted to salvage our friendship. He apologised and we had a drink then went to have a snack. His friends dropped by also and we agreed it felt very nostalgic, exactly like how we used to hang out. Anyway, fast forward like 2 weeks later, I set him up to work for an event which I was working at as well. After the event was over, we hung out and I drilled him for the truth. He told me that he delved into our relationship because will he respect me if i sleep with him thought having a girlfriend could solve all his problems and I was just someone who came along and fit that bill. But he says he could never see that with me. We went back to his place and did the deed and I went back once more a couple days later. He flew off on a 2 week holiday after that and we have been in contact via whatsapp since. We spoke on the phone as well while he was over there. Hi Chris, Thanks for all the great advice. My Ex and I broke up about 3 months ago after 2 years of dating because I think he was became afraid of commitment since I was becoming more dependent on him — I saw my friends less etc. One thing led to another and we ended up being friends with benefits — we would call each other everyday and we would see each other once or twice a week. He was very affectionate and we were going on dates. I just felt like I was putting in a lot of effort things felt very one sided but at the same time hoped that things would develop into a committed relationship again. I was wondering if I should try contacting him again. Or how long should I wait for him to contact me again before calling him. Hi Amor, Thanks for your reply. I posted a reply but it disappeared for some reason. I made the mistake of answering his call and we ended up meeting up again. I texted him about not wanting to be fab anymore.

This is where app dating gets really tricky. You should know you can have and make a positive live and relationship when you get all grudges out and set your mind free for real. Whether or not you want to consider how social connections are going to affect your relationship is a decision you will need to take after careful consideration. Let one another know what the other is experiencing so that you can find comfort and solidarity in one another. I begged him at first to try to fix this for our son but not in an annoying way and then did the no contact rule. Hi Chris, Thanks for all the great advice! They can get that same surge from any other sexual encounter. Don't Send The Wrong Message If you want a relationship, Don't behave in ways that say you are just looking for sex. Sometimes it is enough to get him to commit to you in a relationship. If you look at his actions in that situation, he called you up.